The Dustman Cometh (or, I completely suck at my job)

The 12yo lost another tooth:

And from this angle, it actually resembles a tooth. In reality, it's more like a veneer. It's creepy. 

I suppose in some (most?) houses this event would occasion a visit from the Tooth Fairy and a modest addition to the tooth-loser's personal worth. Here? Not so much. 

I totally suck at this. The tooth came out two days' ago. Tooth Fairy has yet to make an appearance. In the Tooth Fairy's defense, I didn't KNOW the tooth had come out until the next morning because it came out after he'd gone to bed and all he did was stick it in the pirate-y tooth box and go to sleep. When he came down to breakfast yesterday, I was treated to a finger-assisted gaping maw, as he pointed to the most recent residence of the tooth. Then, sounding a little bewildered: "The Tooth Fairy hasn't come yet, though."

I explained that perhaps he needed to inform his parents first, clearly not fully registering my own role in this scenario. Expectations were raised. 

FAIL, part two. This afternoon, he looked at me and said, "You know the Tooth Fairy still hasn't come." SH*T. Before I could decide to either come clean or tell him the Tooth Fairy was on vacation, he continued, "Maybe I need to tell Dad, too." 

Yeah, that's it - *both* parents need to be involved to secure a spot on the Tooth Fairy's itinerary. I pointed out that he should probably tell Dad when he came home. 

The really bad part? This is at least the third time the Tooth Fairy has screwed up and forgotten teeth. Both children have been involved. Tooth Fairy has made midday visits like she's running late. Heck, the Easter Bunny forgot sh*t this year. I SUCK. 

And in addition to failing as the Tooth Fairy (and the Easter Bunny), I'm also getting some very subtle commentary on my housekeeping skills, too:

I know, it's a crappy picture. It's not easy to photograph the stickman that your child has drawn in the dust on top of his ceiling fan. And yes, that IS a giant stuffed alligator on the floor below. His name is Cade. He's a bad*ss.

I only discovered the Dustman because I didn't remember until he was getting ready for bed that I washed his sheets this morning and hadn't actually put any sheets back on his (top bunk) bed. Commence frantic bed-making.

I think it's time for a glass of wine now.